Due to unforeseen circumstances from lack of having a genuine force the next chapter of the Jedigolf Saga is still in the works. Needless to say, the Star Wars chronicles generated a mass hysteria the likes of which has never been witnessed by anyone on Earth. The new arrivals from the Faraway Galaxy became an instant overnight celebrities. "May the force be with you!" became everyday greetings even among the Star Fleet officers including Mr. Scott.
Of course Mr. Spock could not logically comprehend the phrase nor did he understand the true nature of the "force". So intrigued by the "force" that he initiated a task force (no pun intended) to research this new form of energy, to reveal its secrets, and - to his credit as a true Star Fleet officer - prevent the "force" being used as a weapon against the Start Fleet.
Such paranoid notion was shared by other high ranking officers and immediate quarantine of the newly arrived aliens commenced with month long debriefing and experiments. The new arrivals cooperated with the condition that no inhumane experiments will be performed and they be treated with utmost comfort and courtesy.
Start Fleet has long abandoned forceful extraction of information and instead adopted a new non-forceful brain reading technology somewhat resembling the Vulcan mind meld. It was not all accurate and the jury is still out on whether it was ethical even with consent. Some believed it was violation of human mind and no one should have access to it besides the one who owns it, but others believed mind and body are separate and reading what's in one's brain does not violate the mind.
Without the help of the Vulcans the Federation would never have approved the use of such technology. Much credit goes to Mr. Spock who logically explained the separatedness of mind and body and how Vulcan "mind meld" has enormously helped the security of his home planet. Dr. McCoy fruitlessly tried to convince the Federation that Vulcans did not have a mind but he could not logically prove it so that was that. Vulcans not showing any offense to his claim did not help his case either.
The experiments commenced and immediately ran into the problem of proving who did and did not have the force.
"I told you I don't have the force!", said Han Solo.
"How do I know you are not just pretending?" said Mr. Ryan who was in charge of this part of the process. "How can I prove that you don't have the force?"
"Did you watch the documentaries we brought?" asked Han.
"No, I didn't. I didn't have time. They've been working me like a dog here and it's hard to find the time", said Mr. Ryan. "But I heard they were very entertaining."
"You watch that first and ask me if I have the force", said Han Solo shaking his head.
"Or we can just use the lie detector", said Mr. Ryan who thought that would be a good idea. "Not that I can't trust you. It's just that I have no reason to trust you and we need some form of documentation that you are telling the truth."
"Sure, go ahead", said Han wishing to just get it over with.
Mr. Ryan brought out a device and was about to place Han's hand on it when the thought occurred to him to say, "How do I know that your 'force' cannot make this machine to say you are telling the truth?"
"What?", exclaimed Han, "Are you kidding me? The force doesn't work on the computer!"
"But how do I know that?"
"It just doesn't!"
"Why not?"
"What da! I don't know why not. Even if I had the force I wouldn't know why not", said Han frustrated.
"Then how can I know you are telling the truth?" asked Mr. Ryan staring intently at Han.
"Are the Earthlings all suspicious and paranoid like yourself?"
"Not all, but all of us here at FIA, Federation Intelligence Agency, are", said Mr. Ryan as calmly as possible with air of pride. "I wouldn't say paranoid. It's the effort to leave no doubt behind. I try to do my job with perfection."
"Great. I'm glad that's not my problem", said Han.
After thinking for a while Mr. Ryan finally said, "I'm going to have to have Mr. Spock do a mind meld with you so we can establish the validity of this lie detector."
"Mind what?" said Han bewildered, "Look here buddy, I'm not melding my mind with anyone. Especially not with an alien with pointy ears!"
"Would you be more comfortable with a female Vulcan?" said Mr. Ryan sensing this guy was somewhat similar to Captain Kirk with his wandering eyes during his stay at the facility.
"If you really must, yes. I would rather prefer a female," said Han not really knowing what to expect but feeling curious to find out.
"You know Vulcans have sex using their fingers," said Mr. Ryan trying to arouse his interest but quickly added, "only fingers and not involving any other body parts."
"Oh....how exciting. Don't tell me that's how they conjugate for procreation," said Han losing interest fast.
"Of course not. They have to do it the old fashion way to reproduce but other than that they only engage in finger touching....or whatever they call it. Somehow their ancestors have figured out a way to achieve same satisfaction without engaging in full bodily contact. I wouldn't know but that's what they say," said Mr. Ryan not showing any excitement.
"Well, that's not going to work on me so I guess I'll just have to use my charm don't I?" said Han always up for a challenge.
"You go ahead and let me know how it goes," said Mr. Ryan fully aware that no male human has ever seduced a Vulcan women. But then again, he thought, this guy is not from here....
Leutenant Kisha walked into the research lab and introduced herself in a usual Vulcan way, "Leutenant Kisha reporting as ordered by Captain Kirk to assist you".
She sure was one fine Vulcan female with long slender body, voluptuous chest, figure eight curves somewhat hidden by her uniform, and long black hair with strait bangs barely above her eyes. Her green eyes were daring for any man to stare with dark eyebrows and lashes perfectly groomed. Her pointy ears and nose accentuated the sexiness of her outlook with strong undercurrent of intelligence.
Han immediately stood up and introduced himself, "I'm captain Solo of the Millenium Falcon, the fastest ship in the galaxy". He regretted saying the second half but it was too late.
"Your statement is ignorant and baseless since there has been no measurement of your ship's speed in our records and you have no idea how fast the federation ships can travel," said Leutenant Kisha not at all impressed with this alien.
"You are right. But I bet you it is the fastest," said Han. "Where I come from there is no other ship that can outrun it. I made special adjustments myself to run at 120% of hyperspace."
"Again, that technology is unknown to us. We use what's called warp speed," said Kisha curious to find out what hyperspace is all about. "I hope you will explain how hyperspace works later but for now we have to settle this issue of whether you have the force or not."
They sat across facing each other and Leutenant Kisha placed her right fingers in the usual Vulcan way over Han's face slowly palpating the bones. Han immediately felt total loss of control of his self will and was unable to speak.
"We are ready to commence," said Kisha looking at Mr. Ryan sitting close by with the lie detector in hand. He placed Han's left hand on the device.
"Do you have the force?" asked Mr. Ryan once more.
"No, I do not," said Han.
"Can the 'force' manipulate the computer?" asked Mr. Ryan.
"I do not know," said Han wishing he could say no but somehow unable to say it.
"How many of you have the force?" asked Mr. Ryan but Han remained silent.
"Can you be more specific?" said Leutenant Kisha.
"How many of you in your current company have the force?", repeated Mr. Ryan realizing his mistake.
"Only three."
"Who are they?"
"Yoda, Luke, and Princess Leia."
The investigation lasted an entire week with everyone on board the Millenium Falcon undergoing series of psychological and physical tests. The 'force' as the new arrivals referred to their power caused confusion with computer programming so it was referred as Jediforce for the time being. Master Yoda claimed that the 'force' used in human physics calculations are the same type of force used in Jedis but could not come up with a formula that proved such relationship. Mathematics was never his strong subject.
"Not help you I can," said Yoda. "Formula, discover you must. On your own." Investigators were annoyed by his lack of understanding of the physics but glad the 'Jediforce' is not man made. They utilized all the computers in the Federation campus but could not find the relationship between 'force' and biology.
At the end the Federation decided not to prove with calculation its relationship with the physical universe but just to explain what it is and is not, what it can and cannot do.
The initial report was generated and submitted for review.
NATURE OF THE FORCE
It is a form of energy possessed by an individual.
Form of energy is unclassified.
Form of energy is unmeasurable at this time.
How it is generated is unknown.
Why only some individuals have it and others do not is also unknown.
An individual who has mastered the use of the force is called a 'Jedi'.
A Jedi can use the force to move objects without being in physical contact with the object being moved.
A Jedi can manipulate another individual's mind using the force to say or do a specific task.
The strength of the force differs from one Jedi to another. Why this is unknown.
The strength of the force is inversely proportional to distance and directly proportional to the surface area of the object being forced upon. The formula to represent the strength of the force is as follows:
Ff = (Fo/distance squared) x surface area
Final force (Ff) equals Force at origin (Fo) divided by the square of the distance away from the object multiplied by the surface area of the object being moved.
Therefore, the strength of the force dissipates quickly with increasing distance and with decreasing surface area. Small object far away is much harder to move than a large object.
Observation: Force is always accompanied by a movement of the hand or finger of the Jedi towards the direction of the force being applied. If movement is not possible they must close the eyes.
Mind manipulation can only occur in close proximity within two feet.
Some species in the universe are immune to mind manipulation by the force. Humans are not one of them.
End of Report.
